Five Things We Sri Lankans Do Wrong as Guests

Five Things We Sri Lankans Do Wrong as Guests

Thursday through to Sunday, our nights are filled with dinners and parties. Throw in a wedding or two a month and the schedule is pretty packed. In spite of all this experience, there are a few things that we do not do right as guests, here is how we can show that we are Full of Etiquette and that we are in fact properly groomed.

• 1. RSVP and Regrets Only

Even for an informal party where a written invitation is not issued, there is a reasonable time frame within which you need to confirm attendance. Just for the record, RSVP means you need to inform whether or not you are attending, RSVP Regrets Only means, that you need to inform only if you are not attending. Please try not to wait until the day before to tell your host; am sure the order goes in to the caterer a few days ahead. If you indicated that you are not sure of attending, but find that your meeting has been cancelled, please call and confirm your attendance as soon as you can.

• 2. Plan the Gift

All too often I have received food items that have expired or things that I do not know what on earth to do with. If you are close enough to be invited for a social gathering, you must surely know the people well in a professional or social sense. Take a moment to think about the host, the others in his or her family and the nature of the event that you will be attending. Take a suitable gift; not something that will certainly end up in the trash or in the list of things to be given away. There is also nothing polite about telling people that you came empty handed because you could not think of what to bring. Take something – shops nowadays are full of stuff; after all, they have invited you for a free meal.

• 3. Minding the Kids

If your kids are invited, please understand that they need to be dressed sensibly and trained to be in crowds. Occasional high-pitched screams are one thing, continuously punching holes in the hosts’ furniture, screeching and running where they should not be, entering bedrooms, opening fridges, getting on to furniture with their shoes on, pulling things that belong to the host and using cutlery as musical instruments are not fun or funny. If you feel your kids are not trained enough for the event, save yourself the embarrassment and your hosts the headache and leave them with the nanny or a close relation. 

• 4. Be Gracious

Even if you are utterly bored by the hosts tirade or another guest’s rampage of words, hold your poise. Easier said than done – especially for me as I my face is a terrible give away of my inner sentiments. I work hard at this though and you should too – always look interested, acknowledge and pay a slight bit of attention, you never know when some useful information may be shared. If the host wants you to look at their daughter’s sportsmeet photographs, don’t refuse. If another guest insists on telling you about his Caribbean cruises, listen. Even if you excuse yourself and go to the washroom to clear your ears of all his self-aggrandizing talk, you are obliged to return to him unless he has caught another innocent prey in his boastful claws. Above all – do NOT be one of these bores – self reflect and see whether you ARE one of them; if so outgrow the bad habit.

• 5. The Thank You

Profusely thank the hosts as you leave AND call or send a message thanking them once you get over the hangover. Ideally, this should be done the following day. Some people choose to send a message thanking the host and informing him/ her that they returned to base safely; this is acceptable too. In a formal setting where you want to indicate your professionalism, always send an email or a small thank you card to the host.

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Kelsey Chance