How Loud Are You?

Ever felt that the air was completely clear as soon as you stopped your harangue? Or ever paused mid sentence and found the atmosphere to echo around you?
Hold it right there – IF – I repeat, IF, you are someone who is unnecessarily super loud, you probably don’t even know whether either of those incidents has occurred in your life. The reason is that most people who are crazy loud are stone deaf to how loud they are.
This is a kind wake up call to assess your volume and to give you some tips on modulation. Ironically, this comes from the loudest person in my household and possibly one of the loudest people in my immediate family – in my defence, at least I am aware.

When I was at a Toastmaster’s forum many years ago, I remember one of the event hosts wanting us to sing the National Anthem with gusto and telling all of us that if we were to pick our volume to be slightly louder than our neighbour, that we would all be singing the Anthem much better – and we did.

I suppose, I can use the reverse of this logic for my article. When you are in a room full of people who are trying to have their own conversations; maybe at a restaurant, a mall or even an office, simply try to speak slightly softer than the person next to you.

If you are on the phone while moving in a bus or train, please use a headset. In its absence, please ensure that everyone on board the bus or train is not forced to be a part of the conversation. Maybe if you tell yourself that your call should happen while the person seated next to you is also able to have a phone conversation of his or her own, the world will be a quieter place.

When you are with a large group, say at a coffee shop or restaurant, make sure your volume is sufficient to be heard within the group only. The waiters, the chef and the doorman do not need to know what is going on – they are busy.

If you struggle to distinguish the volume of your own voice or passionately love your own voice (my mum’s way of referring to people who speak unnecessarily loudly), try to think that you are saying something awfully personal or embarrassing each time you start to speak. Maybe that will bring in some default control.

What makes me want to remind people of volume modulation through Full of Etiquette?
Sharing the world equitably necessitates that each person can go on with his or her own activity with minimal or no hindrance from others – this extends to the ambience and quiet.

Be willing and able to command a room of 100 people when needed; but by all means, when that is not required, do not pretend that it is.