Avoid Being a Pesky Guest

It is the season to go visiting, make merry and spread good cheer. Across the seasons and the days of the year, here are some best practices to keep in mind when you receive an invitation and spare the host some headaches. This article dwells in to finer details than my article titled the ‘Five Things We Sri Lankans Do Wrong as Guests‘.
To keep this animated, I have labeled the different types of pesky guests; read on you may behold one or more labels without even realising it.

01.The Limelight Stealers
Unless you were just knighted or survived an earthquake, there is no reason for all the other guests to be listening to you and you only. Technically, the limelight at a gathering or a function belongs to the guest of honour or the host. Your tales are probably fabulous and you may be an omniscient narrator, but please do let others dabble over their stories too. You can try your hand at Toastmasters to keep your storytelling prowess alive.

02.The Eternal Grumblers
The punch is too colourful, the wine is too sweet, the hostess’s dress is not elegant enough, the neighbour’s walls are a hideous green, there are too many mosquitos and it is such a lousy party, that you are thankful for the probable rains. Need I say more?

03.The Shutter Bugs
From the dogs in the kennels to the neighbour’s green walls, from the host’s new watch to the empty china, from the spread as it is laid to the stars above and just about half a million clicks of the visitors at both their finest and their lowest; the shutter bugs or photoholics seem to make it their business to capture everything. Memories are nice and photographs are a great way to retain memories.
However, remember that as another guest, you do not have absolute authority to poke around and click. Asking for permission is the right way to get about it, but clearly, very few people will object out of politeness – this does not mean that they want you to have their pictures. So stick to a few basics of maybe the food, the group picture and a few of your closest friends from those in attendance at the party.

04.The Child Abandoners
Anyone would like to pet a child and play with them for a while; this does not mean that they wish to undertake the nanny’s job for the entirety of the function. Some parents happily forget that they walked in with children and let other adults mind their kids for them. Either leave your kids at home with someone or be ready to take on the full responsibility for their behaviour as well as their care.

05.The Nomophobics
Unless the call is absolutely essential or the email is top urgent, please leave your phone aside until the event is over. In the absence of your phone, do not lose composure, do not feel awkward and above all, mingle with others and enjoy the event. Standing in a corner either mumbling or shouting in to a phone is not a pleasant sight. You are there because your presence is important for the hosts and engaging in the event is your expression of respect and gratitude.

Sometimes I wonder whether people do all or one of the above purposely – these are elementary lessons of life and as much as I would like to take credit for it, I am sure that all the readers and followers of fullofetiquette.com have read, heard and been told these previously. What discourages us from being etiquette conscious? What pushes us down the path which lacks etiquette? Perhaps, I will talk to some of you about that and put together a note on why we keep letting ourselves down and how we can groom ourselves out of it.

Photo by Lisa Fotios: https://www.pexels.com/photo/men-and-women-standing-infront-of-dining-table-1655329/